So today was interesting. I was in Tennessee and driving home when I get a text message from a number I didn’t recognize. I can’t even express what happened so I’m just going to write out my texts.
Random #:What’s Up?
Me: Who is this?
R #: Jackie
Me: Jackie Clay?
R #: Jackie Barton
Me: How did you get this number?
R #: I can’t remember
Me: How did you find it?
R #: Well, i had this number written on a slip of paper
Me: This has to be a prank. Who is this? Because my last name is Barton
R #: That’s weird
Me: Why did you text someone you didn’t know?
R #: I wanted to know who you were
Me: Ok…ay?
R #: Oh. Cool. So, I’m really bored. Can we talk?
Me: Are you a guy or girl?
R#: Girl. But, I go for both.
Me: Ah, sorry, I’m not.
R#: Haha. I have a gf right now.
Me: Cool.
R #: Sorry. I meant to type guy. That was a type-o.
Me: Oh, so you are a guy? With the name Jackie?
R #: That’s a nickname.
Me: Great.
R #: So, what do you go for?
Me: Uh, I’m sorry?
R #: If you’re not bi, what are you?
Me: Very straight.
R #: Oh. Cool. Are you currently in a relationship.
Me: Yeah. His name is Joseph.
R #: Cool. My gf’s name is shawna.
Me: Cool. I really love Joseph — He is my soulmate.
R #: Same with shawna. We have so much chemistry. When we make love, fireworks!
R #: Is it the same with Joseph?
Me: We are waiting for marriage to have sex but our chemistry is great and we love being with each other. And really you have no business asking me those questions…bored or not.
R#: Sorry! Geez. Didn’t think it was that big a deal.
*I stop texting at this point*
R #: Shawna is amazing.
Me: Great. So is Joseph.
R #: Yeah.
*No response*
R #: I’m soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bored.
Me: Sorry. Read a book. Watch a movie
*No response*
You can’t make this stuff up. It’s all true.
